I always thought trust was something that you gain, loose, earn or demolished – influenced by behaviours or simply words of other people. My ability to trust someone else was dependent on how others acted or reacted.
Wonderful things have happened over the past year. I travelled a lot, I was very successful at work, I finally was reunited with my better half in the same country and we found our dream apartment to live in, together. This all came after a very long and sometimes very difficult journey. It made me realise, that trust has nothing to do with other people. Trust is something that only happens if you are able to trust yourself. I held myself accountable for decisions I made, I trusted myself and learned that healthy relationships are impossible without trust.
I learned a lot about myself over the past two years. And I know realise that I had to go through complications, agony, doubts and concerns about what the future would bring just to learn to trust. The reward has been amazing. I learned that if I trust myself, I can trust not anyone (well, we should still choose who we trust or not, right?!), but anything that happens.
Every morning, I wake up, and I have a choice. I can decide to think, believe and feel with trust. And that makes life a hell lot easier than waking up, questioning myself or others, predicting the possible impact of decisions or tormenting about what might or might not happen.
I have learned to make a conscious choice every single day. Slowly and gently, day by day, I am choosing to trust.